Here is a list of things Sam Asghari doesn't want to talk about:
How he met Britney Spears. What it was like dating Britney Spears. What it was like living with Britney Spears. What it was like being married to Britney Spears. Why he divorced Britney Spears (in May, after just a little over one year of matrimony). Whether he's still in touch with Britney Spears. How he feels about Britney Spears now.
In other words, pretty much any sentence that contains the words "Britney" and/or "Spears" will get the same answer. Which is to say, no answer. Or at least not a particularly satisfying answer.
"If my life is private, it's private. That's something I'm always going to respect, regardless of any agreement or not," Asghari says, referring to a possible divorce settlement between himself and the pop star that might explain his reticence to discuss his ex-wife. "It's just the values that I have."
Asghari, 30, is sitting poolside at a high-rise apartment building in Brentwood. He's dressed exactly the way you'd imagine a 6-foot-2 fitness buff turned aspiring action hero to be — black mesh shorts, white Nikes and a cream-colored sleeveless hoodie that shows off his ample biceps. Originally, Asghari's team had suggested an interview at his home nearby, but at the last minute, he switched locations to a friend's apartment complex, where for the better part of a scorching July afternoon, he does his best to maneuver the conversation into the one area he very much does want to discuss, more than anything else in the world.
His future as an actor.
Over the past few years, Asghari has locked himself into résumé-building mode in a bid to transform himself into the next Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dwayne Johnson, or at least Jean-Claude Van Damme. First came the cameos, including playing a "Sexy Santa" in a 2021 episode of Max's Hacks. Then came (somewhat) larger roles, most recently in the supporting cast of this summer's Jackpot!, an action comedy on Prime Video starring Awkwafina, Simu Liu and John Cena. Next year, there will be his first foray into reality TV, when he competes on the third season of The Traitors, Peacock's murder-mystery reality show based on the party game Mafia, airing in early 2025.
"As long as you're true to yourself, you're doing what you're supposed to do, you're working hard, and you're not being a bad person to anybody, your destiny presents itself," he says, his massive biceps glistening in the sunlight.
"I don't really worry about what's going to happen," Asghari says of his upcoming stint on The Traitors. "If you're doing something wrong, then you have to worry about it."Helmut Lang shirt; Frame pants; David Yurman jewelry. Photographed by Daniel Prakopcyk***
Sam Asghari was sitting at the head of a formal dining table in a black tuxedo, a glass of spilled milk on his right. Suddenly, Britney Spears appeared, crawling on all fours across the table, wearing only a black bra-and-underwear set, black fishnets and a spiked silver collar around her neck. In slow motion, the pop star arched her back and licked up the spilled milk, kicking her heels in the air. Asghari froze, stiff in his chair. Their gazes locked.
Not exactly a classic meet-cute moment, but there you have it. The first time Asghari and Spears laid eyes on each other.
The year was 2016. And the two were shooting a scene in the singer's music video for "Slumber Party," a reggae-pop track featuring the artist Tinashe. "I was focused on work; I was there to be professional," Asghari says of his initial encounter with Spears, who is 12 years older than he is. "But at the same time, you know, things happen."
What happened after the "Slumber Party" shoot, Asghari reveals after much hemming and hawing, was that one of Spears' assistants reached out to him on her behalf to ask him to meet. The two ended up dining at Koi, at the time a buzzy sushi restaurant in West Hollywood. "It was so natural," Asghari says, referring to their connection, his granite jawline melting into a smile.
Asghari and Britney Spears met on the shoot for her "Slumber Party" video (top). "I was focused on work; I was there to be professional," Asghari says of the encounter. "But at the same time, you know, things happen." CourtesyHow Asghari ended up in that music video is something of a journey. It started in 2006, when he was 12 years old. That's when Asghari emigrated from Iran — he grew up Tehran — to the U.S. in a move that separated his family. Asghari and his father settled in the city of Westlake Village, California, but his mother and three older sisters stayed behind in Iran for several years before joining them. It was, he says, a "tough situation" for his family, but he made the best of it and threw himself into assimilation. For starters, he began eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because he saw American children eating them. (Much later, he would name his new production company PB&J.)
"Coming to the U.S. was the greatest thing that ever happened to me," he says, sipping a bottle of electrolyte water. "My [American-born] uncle told me that if you come into this country, even if you're a citizen, you're a guest. So, when I came into this country, everything was a blessing; I never wanted to do anything to hurt somebody, to take advantage of somebody, or to do something that's going to jeopardize my future."
When he first came to America, Asghari only spoke Farsi, his native language. To help teach himself English, he began watching Disney Channel — he claims to have watched Toy Story at least 100 times — as well as action movies. He quickly stumbled upon Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson; today, he name-checks both the former bodybuilder and former pro wrestler as role models for his future desired career. "[Schwarzenegger and Johnson] are not supposed to be where they are, but they made it — that's what I admire the most," he says.
Asghari's introduction to acting came in the form of theater classes at Westlake High School. However, because he was still learning English, larger speaking roles were out of reach. His light bulb moment came when he joined a production for younger kids; he played a troll. He remembers the children laughing — with him, not at him, from the sound of it — and that experience drew him to acting.
Athletics was another of Asghari's early passions. As a high school freshman, he joined Westlake's football team. Entering college, he was slated to play at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln but got cut before starting his freshman year. So he returned to Los Angeles to play football for Moorpark College, then later transferred to Los Angeles Pierce College, where he gave up on the gridiron and instead studied criminal justice. He worked multiple jobs to support himself, including as a clerk at Best Buy and a sales rep at Gold's Gym.
Adjusting to life after football was challenging. After hitting a low point, Asghari made a critical decision. When he'd been playing ball, bulk had been a priority; but now, with his eyes on an acting career, he decided to lose a significant amount of weight. He started at 290 pounds; within about six months, he dropped nearly 100 pounds. Suddenly, now lean and muscular, he found himself booking modeling gigs, commercial acting and music video appearances — notably Fifth Harmony's "Work From Home," a construction site-themed romp in which Asghari, one of several ornamental Hot Dudes, wields a jackhammer.
Then, in 2016, he shot "Slumber Party," and his life was obviously never the same.
The couple in 2018 Vivien Killilea/Getty ImagesAsghari keeps the details of the next eight years deliberately hazy. What happened behind closed doors at Spears' Thousand Oaks mansion where they eventually settled — and where, in 2021, he proposed before they married in 2022 — is largely not something he is willing to discuss. Neither is his decision to file for divorce in 2023, citing irreconcilable differences; neither is the timeline and dynamics of that divorce, which was finalized in May. For a brief, flickering moment, he comes close to revealing a morsel about Spears' controversial 13-year conservatorship, which was terminated in November 2021 — "There were so many bad people in their life that took advantage of this person" — but even that revelation is cloaked in an ambiguous pronoun. When asked whether he is indeed referring to Spears, he quietly confirms.
One could read between the lines as to why Asghari does not discuss specifics. According to a 2021 report in The New York Times, during that conservatorship, Spears' father, Jamie, heavily controlled and surveilled his daughter's dating life by hiring a security firm; the operation included secretly recording conversations she had in her bedroom as well as tailing her boyfriends to look for incriminating behavior and requiring them to sign nondisclosure agreements. According to the report, an agreement Asghari signed in 2020 technically forbade him from posting about Spears on social media without her father's prior written approval.
And yet, those filtered relics of their eight-year relationship still exist on Asghari's Instagram, in the form of romantic snaps and videos. When the couple's one-year wedding anniversary arrived, in June 2023, Asghari proclaimed via IG that Spears was the woman of his dreams; two months later, in a striking reversal, he filed for divorce.
Not even Asghari's closest friends have much more access or insight into his marital life. Quinton Sales, a Los Angeles-based lawyer who was Asghari's roommate before he moved in with Spears, confirms that even he was kept in the dark about the relationship's ups and downs. "I really don't know too many details," he says. "Sam always handled it in an honorable, mature way. But what actually happened? I wouldn't be privileged to know."
Spears' 2023 memoir, The Woman in Me, portrays Asghari in an overwhelmingly positive light. "I did not read the book," he says, "because I was there." Courtesy of Simon and SchusterWhatever happened in May, it's made Asghari a bachelor again, which he seems to have mixed feelings about. "When something ends, of course, there's going to be a moment where you are sad or upset, but just be happy that it ever even happened," he says of returning to life in Los Angeles as a single man. "Celebrate the past. That's how I look at it."
And plan for the future, which now includes a role on a reality show. Over the years, Asghari has turned down stints on programs like Celebrity Big Brother and The Masked Singer; he also confesses he doesn't typically watch reality TV and doesn't even plan to watch his own season of the The Traitors. So why do it? "It was all about the game," he says. "There's no time to gossip. There's no time to have questions thrown at you." He appears to take a fatalistic approach to how the series might impact his plans to become the next Arnold. "I don't really worry about what's going to happen. I don't do anything wrong, so there's no way of trying to sabotage. If you are doing something wrong," he adds, "then you have to worry about it."
As Asghari's career expands, he keeps his circle small, centered on a close-knit group of family and friends. He never does allow this interviewer into his apartment, as he'd originally suggested, but instead offers to describe it. According to him, it's filled with plants — including a bonsai tree from his sister Maddie — as well as a 2-year-old Doberman named Porsche. He shows off a portrait of the pooch on the background of his smartphone.
Whatever happens with The Traitors, though, and whatever other projects may follow, there's no doubt Asghari's relationship with Spears will continue to haunt him, at least for a while. Reporters will continue asking him questions about his ex-wife, which he may or may not sidestep for years to come. In fact, here comes one now …
Has he read Spears' 2023 memoir, The Woman in Me, in which he is portrayed in an overwhelmingly positive light? ("A gift from God," she described him.)
"I did not read the book," he says slowly, "because I was there."
This story first appeared in the Sept. 11 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. Click here to subscribe.
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